Assalamu aleikum all 😊 how's your week going?
I received a little package from Ecoteekki, and got some shampoo, and valeriana capsules to try for stress and anxiety relief. And this is not an advert, I payed like every customer lol, I just link it because there's nice natural products and maybe you find it useful. Well, for customers in Finland.. oh boy this doesn't start well at all 😱 😃 
But, I tried one capsule and it had an relaxing effect, maybe could say tiring, but not too much so in sha Allah this could be a good remedy. Valeriana might also have side effects like headache and nausea, so if you wish to try it, I recommend to read first about it and be cautious. It is a root, used for centuries to calm nerves and cure insomnia, so it's use is well-known. But like everything else, thing that might be good for someone might not fit for someone else, so just make sure you know what you take. It is not an intoxicant also. Just natural medicine.

So... I don't rea…


Assalamu aleikum wa rahmatullah 😊 
I'm still here, and everything is ok. I hope you are too.. I've kept now low profile, because I feel there's nothing special to write about. Or, I just and getting into this fall/winter cocoon, and the side effect is melancholy and fading ability to be excited about anything.. I have been thinking about writing so much, almost every day, but then I make it impossible for myself. I have good ideas to write about, interesting topics like gender neutrality, me/womanhood and not been able to have kids yet, what islam means to me and looks like in my daily life, and so on. Nice topics, nice challenges to write about. But no.
I have energy to find excuses, why not, rather than why to. If I want to write about something positive, I think that better not because of the evil eye. If I want to share my new favourites, it seems so shallow. If I try to share some emotional stuff, well, it's complaining. And so on. And I end up with the same thing…

Nightly guided

Assalamu aleikum everyone 😊 
It's 3 am and raining. I have had a good day today, alhamdulillah. Had a good chat with my husband, I'm so happy we've been always able to talk about everything. And usually eventually understanding each other 😅 Sometimes I get frustrated and say that while we should be on the same page, we are not even in the same book. But I love him so much because when I am already in the year 3000, he reminds me that we are on the same Earth. 
I also had chance to catch up with my Qu'ran reading, and next time I will start from surah Yusuf in sha Allah. It's often hard to describe all what I receive from islam, whether it's praying, reading Qur'an or ahadeeth or, watching the world through it's lense. It fills the empty space in my heart, fitting perfectly, and expanding it by giving so much more. Like you would look an atom and see the whole universe in it. Or knowing that the iron your blood is the same iron Allah swt has sent down f…

Among the wildflowers

Assalamu aleikum wa rahmatullah 😊
This is nice. I can get used to this, texting to you, dear readers. Laying on my couch, dimmed lights, and of course a cup of chamomille tea keeping company on the table beside me. 
I feel happy. I feel like I belong into this world. I think I've started to find my place and it's right here, right now, how it should be. Alhamdulillah. I feel now I can just finally be and exist again. And I'm so happy I do.. yesterday night I went to memory lane, looking at old photos, listening to my old songs. Listening to who I was ten or more years ago. And I cried to Allah swt. She never left. She didn't die, miraculously. She is me and I am still she. 

I don't think people who I've met in my life earlier can ever know how much pain they have caused me. Well, unknowingly, of course. Or was that pain more my own impatience while waiting for the ones I hoped to find one day? Or, knew.. I just knew. Because I believed in God, secretly. I knew t…

A loophole

Assalamu aleikum sweeties :) how's everything?

I checked the statistics again, and saw many readers/reads from Portugal. Obrigada! :) I visited Portugal with my family when I was a kid, I guess I was 8-9 years that time. We stayed at Albufeira and also did a trip to Lissabon for the World Expo. I remember that I puked in a bus, but after that was never travel sick anymore. I remember the entrance to the Expo area. Performance artists. Vanuatu's chess boards made of chocolate! The parade at the end of the day.. and that we ate in a fast food restaurant which we never did at home.

One of my best friends also speaks a bit of Portuguese due to her love of capoeira and her study trips to Portugal and Brazil. I just feel I have to mention it. Because she's my family too.

Ohh. To be able to travel..

I'm not sure what is the best part. Arriving, possibly :) For longer term, to be 'somewhere else'. Have the opportunity to maybe be a little someone else too. Or better sa…

Everybody hates us?

Assalamu aleikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh everyone :)
I hope you are doing fine. The world seems to be more an more in chaos. Has it been always like this? I can't tell. Will it have a happy end? I still believe so. I hope everyone can find peace in the middle of this all, some way, somehow. If you are not a muslim, I recommend to read the teachings of islam, and the Noble Qur'an. For me, since I found islam, and learned more about the God, it has been the safe haven for me wherever I am. 

Maybe you wonder, God, of course, but why islam? What makes islam different, of other ways and religions?
There are many scholars who can and will explain all this in a very beautiful way. Personally, I think the best way to approach islam is to walk towards it, yourself. Anyone can give you answers, in sha Allah, but if you search, read and learn yourself, you can find it to be easier to ask the right questions.. For me in islam, it's all the knowledge of God Himself and the way He …


Assalamu aleikum wa rahmatullah. Welcome Japan, Thailand, Singapore and Norway readers + more! I'm happy to see new countries in the statistics :) Also there has been South Africa, and Romania! Alhamdulillah. Thank you and welcome to follow! And when talking about statistics, US has been clearly leading for months now! I'm so happy, and surprised still, that these thoughts I write can reach all over the world.

And yeah, I know, internet and the world wide web, obviously. But the virtual world aside, I have really enjoyed reading A. Helwa's Secrets of Divine Love. It has been so inspiring and helpful. Relieving. It really speaks to my soul, and the author's perspective in islam is so beautiful. It's like the way I have been thinking and feeling, but haven't really be able to give any voice to, since during past years I have just been collecting the pieces of myself. And before that, I was so lost in life, and also lost myself. So now, when I read this book, it f…