Tuesday, 15 May 2018


Assalamu aleikum wa rahmatullah :)

Today happened something, not a big thing really, but then again there was ugliness in it, and also lot of goodness after all. Although I have to now pay millions to go to a private dentist, and it will mess my budget..

So what happened was, that I didnt sleep at all last night. I had a dentist appointment early morning on the other side of the city, and I was still wake at 4 so I thought I might just sleep despite the alarm so better to stay awake and then sleep after. I went there with two buses, didnt first find my way but then managed to be there on time. Nurse at the reception was rude. Not regular rude, I dont know how to describe it but well, uncomfortably rude. I went to the appointment anyway, I had been there one time before and I knew that was their way to treat some patients. After I went to the reception again, to get my last appointment and then all would be fine. The faces, looks, giggles, and way too uncomfortable rudeness, nicely said. Its hard not to take personal, as it very well is. I walked to the bus stop focusing not to start to cry, thinkin that it doesnt need to matter in any way, and also in any way, I do not want to cry in public. I focused on breathing and finally my bus came.

Greeted the driver, asked help where to change the bus. He was nice and said me to sit at the front seat, that he'll tell me when its my stop. There was sitting an older man, I asked could I sit there and he seemed nice too. He started to chat a bit, and I tried to sound as happy as I could with my trembling voice. He said he'd seen me already on my way there, I told I had to go to dentist and dont usually move around here, so its a bit adventure as I dont know the directions or so. He didnt say nothing special, was just beeing nice like a person to a person. Then it all just came out. I burst into tears, covered my face, tears were flowing, pain in heart. It wasnt that much of what happened earlier, moreof that how sweet these two strangers were. May Allah bless them every day, ameen.

I tried to get and be calm, the man sitting next to me was quiet but in a very polite, take-your-time-its-ok way, just noting how beautiful summer is. I think the bus driver had a bit of a nose knot too, and something in his eye. Then he put on the window wash, some liquid and those wipers, and it made me smile and tear  a few tear again.

They drop me off, told directions and wished me a good trip. I got on the other bus, still all the way home was teary. Walked home hoping to be all invisible.

Reached home and, well, the window renovation at the building keep still going on, so its an easy way to get to know the neighbours a bit. At the yard I met one woman, never seen before, and had the most basic neighbour "päivittely", not a bashing but dont know how to translate, about the renovation, used needles at the back yard, that we cant get a barbeque place on the yard, "yea thats how it seems to be nowadays" lines, and this time I tried to be worried, but I felt good again. Alhamdulillah Rabbil aalameen.


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